wrapped in love
by shel
Summary: phoebe calls upon a special person to help cole…
1. phoebe

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CHARMED

"Wrapped in Love"

by shel

© january 2003

_disclaimer:_

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the charmed ones, cole, and leo, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to spelling television, inc. and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too

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rating:

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pg-13

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summary:

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phoebe calls upon a special person to help cole

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timeline:

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two days after the events of season 5's the mummy's tomb'

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archive:

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please don't without expressed permission

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notes:

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written before 'the importance of being phoebe' and doesn't take that ep into account...please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why notand, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames

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Phoebe

Phoebe surveyed the circle of candles in the center of the attic. Satisfied they were properly aglow, she knelt at the nearby table and set down the lighter. Earlier she had measured a number of dry spices into a dish that was centered on the table. From a nearby plastic bag, she withdrew one long, thin, striped feather and used it to lightly stir the spices. When she was done, she placed the feather atop the pile of spices. She lit the one candle that remained on the table and poured some of the melting wax into the dish and sealed the feather to the spices. After a moment, she returned the candle upright to its holder and picked up the athame that lay to her right. She held it over the dish and stared at it a moment. It felt heavy in her hand but she resigned herself to the task before her. She took a deep breath and swiftly cut her left wrist.

Phoebe dropped the athame on the table but gritted her teeth against the pain as she allowed her blood to pool atop the wax, feather, and spices. When the amount satisfied her, she took the bandages she had earlier prepared and tightly wrapped her wound. She gave a fleeting thought to the fact that she probably needed stitches and, instead, picked up a small piece of parchment and chanted from it:

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"Spirits and guardians who watch from above,

I beg for your help and your powers.

To mend one man's heart and save his soul,

Please send his father to me for 24 hours."

The candle before her flickered and blew out. Encouraged, she closed her eyes and recited the words from memory. She felt the gentle breeze swirling around her and, without looking, she repeated the spell one more time.

"Good evening," the male voice greeted.

Phoebe opened her eyes and smiled at the transparent figure that had appeared within the circle. "Hello," she replied as she stood. She suddenly felt self-conscious and tugged on the bottom of her blouse and straightened her long skirt. She took a step forward and faced her visitor. She sighed in relief, "I'm so glad you're here, Mr. Turner."

"Benjamin, please," the tall gentleman smiled. "I told you that when I met you."

Phoebe's smile faltered and she commented in a low tone as she looked down, "That was over a year agoA lifetime ago." She brought her gaze back to meet his and added, "So much has happenedNot all of it good. ColeYou see Cole wasHe was --"

"I know," Benjamin gently interrupted. "I've been watching."

"Then you see how lost he's become," Phoebe told him. "He's been acting in ways he's never acted before. Oh, Benjamin, he's completely different from the man I knewfrom the man I fell in love with."

"He's been through a lot," Benjamin commented with a nod of his head, "and has carried more than his share of burdens. But why call me? Surely you can see him through this dark time."

Phoebe shook her head and turned away. She stared at her wrist and noticed the blood had already started seeping through the bandage. She tried to ignore its throbbing and, instead, concentrate solely on her visitor.

"Phoebe?" he questioned.

"I can't help him," she repeated in a quiet voice. "I'm tootoo angry." She turned around and faced her ex-father-in-law. "I know that sounds incredibly selfish and cold-hearted considering that he's supposed to be the love of my life but, right now, I look at him and only feel pain."

"You were hurt by his actions," he thoughtfully considered.

"You don't understand," she insisted to the spirit. "I only remember the pain. I've blocked out every good and loving thing about him, about us, from my mind. I can't think about any of it. It's too painful to remember the good because then I realize how it all went wrong and how bad it's been so I don't try to remember. And I get angry if anyone reminds me. I just want to forget," she sadly concluded.

"It wasn't all his fault," he commented in return. "I heardI understand how the Source took control. But last year, when you both freed me from my imprisonment, I saw the love you shared. It was right there in his eyes, in his every movement. I can't believe that his love for you wasn't strong enough to overcome the Source's powers."

Phoebe shook her head. "All I remember now is how he manipulated us. I remember how he turned our wedding into a thing of evil. I remember how he deliberately helped turn our child to evil. I remember how he forced me to choose between him and my sisters even after I had chosen to remain with him as Queen. And I remember how he left me alone to deal with the Seer."

"I'm sorry," Benjamin quietly responded.

"I needed time but he pushed so hard," she continued, lost in her thoughts, "and he kept pushing. From the moment he got himself out of the Wasteland, he didn't let up. Every time I turned around, he was there. And now he's got all these powers."

"What about these powers?" he questioned in concern. "Surely he can control them."

"That's not the issue," she sighed. "Hegathered all these powers before he left the Wasteland. Incredible powers and they've made himinvincible. He can't be killed and we"

"You tried," he nodded in disappointment. "It's made some very nervous," he informed her.

"It gets worse. The other day, my sisters told methey told me." Phoebe choked up and couldn't continue.

"Take your time," he encouraged.

She took several deep breaths to calm herself. "They found Coletrying to kill himself."

"What?" Benjamin gasped. "I wasn't aware. Surely your sisters were mistaken."

"They know what a guillotine is," she snapped. Immediately, she regretted her outburst and continued in a softer tone, "He's beenhe's been keeping aa list of the ways he's tried. Of what he could try next. They didn't think he was faking."

"But your sisters stopped him," he commented in a hopeful tone.

"Not intentionally," Phoebe shook her head. "They needed his help to save me from Jeric." She noticed his look of confusion and explained, "Originally from ancient Egypt, he was trying to save Isis, the woman he loved, by finding her witches to possess. Once they found a witch powerful enough, she was going to say a spell and eject the witch's own spirit forever."

"Long way to go to protect one's love," he considered. "My son helped your sisters, of course."

"Not exactly," she corrected. "I was growing weaker with Isis inside me so Cole set it up that Paige would become the next host and I'd stay mummified until my sisters would no longer be around to deal with. But Paige wasn't strong enough either and he forced Piper to make a choice between us. Between her own sisters," she emphasized. "Piper, who had already lost a sister. He knew how devastated she'd be. And they really got into it. They tore up the attic attacking each other." She saw his look of shock and quickly added, "They didn't hurt each other. They couldn't. Their powers protected them. Piper's pregnant and the baby's power of healing has beenIt doesn't matter, the point is they let loose on each other. And later, he claimed he knew all along that she'd figure out a way to save us both but" Her voice trailed off and it was a moment before she added, "He's lost it and I don't think it's an act. Oh, Benjamin, you've got to help him before it's too late. I can't do it. I can't talk to himat this point, I'd only hurt him worse than he's already been hurt"

"It seems to me, then," he considered as he stood at the circle's edge, "that he couldn't feel any worse. Isn't it worth the try?"

She shook her head. "I'm not willing to risk finding out. It's bad enough between us. But, youHe needs youyour guidance. Please," she begged as she stepped closer, "talk to him. He'll open to you. Maybe you can convince him not to throw away his life. Maybe you can convince him that he can find a way to do good in spite of his powers, in spite of our separation."

"So you do believe he's good inside?" Benjamin asked hopefully.

She stepped back again and carefully replied, "I believe he's been tested since he came back and things didn't go as he'd hopedand now, now, he's trying his best to convince everybody that he is evil."

"I asked about you," he pointedly clarified.

"In spite of everything, he has saved innocents, and," Phoebe admitted, "he's saved me and my sisters a number of times." Benjamin was about to comment but she quickly continued, "But he's not thinking clearly anymore. I don't know, maybe it's his powers, maybe they're too much for himmaybe it was the Wastelandor maybe it's just because of mebut he's doing everything he can to prove I was wrong about him. And my sisters don't need to be convinced. After what we went through the other day, they're all too happy to oblige him his death wish."

"And you?" he questioned. "Do you wish him dead?"

Phoebe turned away from him before she answered. "I thought so. I thought he deserved it. I told you we already tried and I was the one who initiated the vanquishingI was so angry with him that I wasn't seeing straight. But, in the end, I couldn'tI actually told him it had to be on our terms, not hisCan you believe that?"

"You wanted an excuse not to go through with it," he theorized. "Because you love him," he concluded.

Phoebe faced him with tears in her eyes. She quietly told him, "I'm not at a point where I even want a relationship with him. We've been through too much and need time apartI just didn't think he'd reach a point where he'd want to end his life"

"I'm not sure I'll be able to convince him of anything," Benjamin considered. "He was three when Idied. I'm a stranger to him. He would have no reason to listen to me."

Phoebe shook her head and insisted, "You're his father and he loves you. He spent his entire adult life working to set your soul free. He nearly betrayed me and my sisters to save you. He will listen to you."

"Maybe if we both went --" he began.

"No," she interrupted as she shook her head, "I won't give him false hope where I'm concerned. I don't know that I'll ever want a life with him again. And I'm not sure he'll wait long enough for me to work through my issues to find out. You didn't see himsee the pain he was in. He called himself mad and I don't believe he meant anger alonePlease, he needs youYou've, you've got to help himYou're his last chance" Phoebe finally broke down and sank to the floor sobbing.

Benjamin stepped out of the circle and knelt next to her. He pulled her into an embrace and gently rubbed her back. "Hush, Phoebe," he comforted, "of course I'll help himafter I help you."

"No," she gasped as she pulled back with a jerk. "You don't have time. The spell," she sniffled in explanation. "It will only last for twenty-four hours and I won't let you waste your precious time on me."

"I don't consider it a waste," he countered.

"Please," she shook her head, "the spell required quite a bit ofplease, I'm tired. My sisters are out for the evening and I just want to take advantage of the quiet. Please, Benjamin, just go to him. I just need some rest and I'll be fine."

"You need me," he stated as he caressed her cheek. "Let me ease your burden. I imagine you've been rather alone for quite some time. You can't turn to your sisters and you've told me that your father, as loving as he might be, has never been comfortable with your status as a witch or with your choice of husband. Talk to me, Phoebe. I'm here. Let me take away some of your pain."

"Please, let me just take you to him," Phoebe weakly pleaded. "He's been without you for over one hundred years and he needs you more than ever. Please"

"Very well," Benjamin agreed as he kissed her on the top of her head, "but I want you to know that I am here for you too. Any time you need me to be."

"Don't," she requested as she completely pulled away from him, "don't be nice to me. Not after what I've done to your son."

"You love him," he confirmed. "You saved him."

Phoebe shook her head and scrambled to her feet. "I've destroyed him."

"You don't mean that," he told her as he stood and faced her.

"You haven't seen him yet," she sadly declared. "Haven't seen what he's become. If not for me," she continued in a shaky voice, "he'd be whole. He'd have a sense of purpose. He'd know exactly how he fit into the world."

He suddenly hugged her in a tight embrace. "You've shown him love. You restored him his humanity. You freed him from a life in hell."

"You're wrong," she whispered. "I sent him there."

"You're wrong," he insisted, "and one day, when you no longer are in such pain, you'll see for yourself. Now, I don't wish to cause you any more pain, so, will you take me to my son?"

Phoebe nodded and pulled away. She stared at him a moment before she impulsively hugged him again. "Thank you for answering my call," she whispered.

Benjamin smiled as he returned her embrace. "Thank you for calling," he answered simply.

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	2. cole

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Cole

Cole held the athame in front of him and closed his eyes before he snapped them open, yelled, and brought the blade down, embedding it in his heart. He staggered back from the initial thrust but quickly realized he was still standing. He withdrew the blade and watched with disappointment as the wound healed itself. The blade, however, began to dissolve and he dropped it on the floor and watched as his acidic blood ate through the metal. "Damn," he muttered, "that's the fifth one todayI can't take this anymore." He raised his arms to the ceiling and shouted, "Why the hell won't you let me die?"

"Self-pity didn't suit your mother," Benjamin informed him as he entered the penthouse, "and it doesn't suit you either."

"What?" Cole spun around and gasped, "FatherYou're here? How?"

"Magic," his father answered simply. He looked over Cole's appearance and shook his head. "You look like hell."

"What?" Cole asked in a stunned tone.

"Look at yourself," Benjamin commented with disapproval. "Go," he ordered, "get yourself cleaned up."

"But, how," Cole stuttered, "why"

"We'll talk after you've washed and shaved," his father told him. "And change your clothes. With all those tears, they look like rags."

"But --" Cole began.

Benjamin lightly gripped Cole's shoulder and Cole looked back at him with new shock. "I'll still be here," he assured his son in a gentler tone. "Go on now."

Cole started for the bedroom but turned back around. "Phoebe?" he questioned.

"We'll talk later," Benjamin quietly repeated. 

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Cole found his father outside on the terrace staring out at the city lights. The shower had managed to clear his head from some of the conflicted thoughts he had about the direction his life had recently taken. But his father was here. Standing right in front of him. And he had no idea why. Phoebe was the only one who knew. The only one who could have brought him. But why? Why would she do something soso considerate? She hated him now. If she hadn't at the beginning, she must now. After everything he'd done. He'd unknowingly sabotaged his own desires and pushed her further away. Maybe deep down he knew she'd been right all along. They'd tried to make it work but maybe she was right, maybe they had no future together. He hadn't wanted to believe it.

A life without Phoebe? He hated the very thought and had done his best to convince her there was a way. He thought he could do it. He thought he could show her the way. But things kept getting in his way. So he had pushed harder. But the situation only got worse. And even if she had been willing to understand why he'd pushed to extremes, she'd never understand his confrontation with Piper. He hadn't hurt Pipernot physically, anyway. But he knew the strong ties Phoebe had to her sisters. And after the other dayhe'd never break through them again. Never get through to her again. So what was he supposed to do now? And how would his father react to all he had done? His father was here. Standing before him. "Father," he tentatively began, "what are --"

"When you were a baby," Benjamin interrupted, without turning around, as he recalled, "I used to carry you out on our balcony and show you the city. It amused your mother to hear me proclaim that the city was yours for the taking." He turned around and faced his son with a smile, "Of course, I was merely bragging as any proud new father might. I never meant it literally."

Cole stiffened as guilt threatened to overwhelm him. Silent, he stepped towards the railing, shoved his hands in his pockets, and stared out at the city.

"I was teasing," Benjamin apologized. But Cole didn't smile and Benjamin stood next to him and leaned against the railing. "Suicide is rather extreme, don't you think?"

"Phoebe did send you," Cole acknowledged. "Why?"

"Why kill yourself?" Benjamin asked instead.

"I won't be evil," Cole growled. "They won't let me be good."

"They won't let you?" his father skeptically questioned. "Since when do you need permission to do good?"

Cole shook his head. "That's not what I mean." He finally looked at his father and explained, "I've tried to do good. I've tried to save innocents but it's either backfired or it's meant nothing."

"To whom?" Benjamin pointedly asked.

"Does it matter?" his son sighed.

"Yes," Benjamin answered, "because you don't do the right thing for someone else to think more highly of you. You do it because you know it's the right thing to do. Don't you think the ones you saved are grateful?" Cole silently shrugged and he questioned, "Tell me, son, has the only reason you've done any good been because of Phoebe alone?"

"Yes..No" Cole replied automatically. "I don't know," he quietly admitted.

"I think that Phoebe opened the door for you," Benjamin contemplated. "Helping Phoebe meant helping innocents. And in acknowledging your own humanity by helping her and helping them, you also gave your conscience a new voice. And you were surprised to discover that you liked helping innocents. You found it satisfying and rewarding."

"Maybe I just liked the feeling of doing somethinganything," Cole argued, "and that it was the only way to be with her."

Benjamin shook his head, "If that were true, you'd have gone back to your old ways the moment Phoebe turned you away after you escaped the Wasteland." Cole looked at him in surprise and he admitted, "I know quite a bit about what's happened. I've seen. And I've been filled in on the rest. So, what happens now, you're going to ignore everything you've learned about yourself in the past two years and simply give up?"

"What's the point in even trying?" Cole sighed again. "Phoebe's lectured me enough on how my new powers are an even greater magnet for evil. I can't protect her. Hell, I can't even protect myself. So, it seems my very salvation in escaping the Wasteland has damned me to an eternity of solitude here. Unless"

"Unless what?" his father asked warily.

"Unless I go back there," Cole thought aloud. "Eternity there couldn't possibly be any worse than here. That is if I still have a soul left. Maybe that worm canNo, I destroyed it, didn't I? Of course, there could be more of themBig place. Other creatures"

"I thought your mother trained you better than that," Benjamin angrily spat.

"What?" Cole uttered, suddenly shocked from his thoughts. "What does Mother have to do with any of this?"

"Your mother abhorred any show of weakness," Benjamin answered in a tone of disgust. "What do you suppose she'd say if she saw you right now?"

Cole looked away and realized, "She'd tell me to quit whining like a human and show her what I'm made of. Show her how much better I am than them."

Satisfied, Benjamin nodded curtly. "Then maybe you should listen to her. You sure as hell don't seem to be listening to me."

"You don't know anything about me," Cole snapped, "so don't presume to give me any wholesome fatherly advice." Benjamin burst out laughing and it took Cole by surprise. "What's so funny?" he angrily asked.

"You," his father answered with another laugh. "Acting like the petulant child I so remember. You hated listening even then. You wanted to do things your way and didn't care if you were warned not to for your own sake. You learned your lessons all right, learned them the hard way." He sobered quickly and added, "I'm not here to give you wholesome fatherly advice. I'm here to tell you that if you continue on this dangerous path, you will lose yourself forever. Everything that is good and honorable about Cole Turner will be destroyed. Do you really want that? Are you truly willing to give it all up?"

"She doesn't want me," Cole confessed in a hoarse voice. "Life without her"

"Would still have meaning," Benjamin completed. "There's more to life, son, than the love of one woman."

Cole looked at his father with surprise, "I thought you liked Phoebe. Last year, when we were alone, you told me so. You even said she --"

"Reminded me of your mother," Benjamin interrupted with a smile. "She didShe does. She has that spark, that freshness, that strength. She seems the perfect match for you. But" 

"But I ruined everything," Cole sighed.

Benjamin patted his son on the shoulder. "She doesn't blame you entirely. She understands that there were forces involved that went far beyond either of your control. However, whether it was the Source or simply your true-self trying to make the best of a bad situation, you did hurt her. And she hasn't had time to recover."

"I left her alone all summer!" Cole exclaimed. "And I've wanted to talk. Nothing else but to simply talk about what happened. She didn't want it. I've tried to keep my distance. I've even gone away. It's what she wanted. All I asked in return was a little hope. Something to let me know we still had a chance."

"She's not ready for that," his father told him. "She may never be ready. What happened to her, what happened to you both, shook her to her very core. With all the pressures of her new job and the changes within her family, she's trying to come to terms with all that happened, not just to you or your relationship but to herself. She's no longer the same woman she was last year. She may never be again. Just as you will never again be the man you once were. You both need time to adjust. Time apart. Time to figure out what you want from life and where you want to go next."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Cole whispered. His father looked at him and he hesitantly explained, "That time will only push us further apart until there's nothing left for us to come back to."

"Perhaps," Benjamin gently agreed, "it will. Perhaps all you'll be able to do is cherish the memories of the brief time you were together. Butperhaps you'll find a new path, one that leads you once again to each other." Cole silently shook his head. "Son, right now, you have to leave Phoebe to herself and concentrate on yourself. You need to clean up your act, get your head together, and move forward." He saw the puzzled look on Cole's face and asked, "What is it?"

"That's something Mother once told me," Cole admitted.

"Who do you think she learned it from?" Benjamin smiled.

"I was ten and had just been beaten by three demons who were younger than me and Iwell," Cole recalled, "I suppose I was sulking. But she had no sympathy for me. She simply told me that I would have to be better next time, after I got my act together and moved on. She had no tolerance for excuses."

"She was right," Benjamin agreed. Cole again looked at him with surprise. "She may have been a demon but your mother and I agreed about quite a lot," he explained with a smile. "We made quite the pair. We both had tempers, were both strategists, were both well educated, had wicked senses of humor, and, of course, were both attractive." He matched his son's uncomfortable look with one of feigned innocence, "You didn't think it was purely a practical union did you? No, your mother's appetite quite matched my own." He laughed at Cole's unpleasant reaction, "Have no fear, it wasn't just lust between us." Benjamin's eyes took on a faraway look and he softly added, "We had genuine affection and love for one another."

"She was a demon," Cole uttered in surprise.

"So were you," Benjamin countered, "and that didn't stop you, did it?"

Cole rolled his eyes. "Well, she never spoke of you. Never answered any of my questions. She simply said that you were her one moment of weakness and that I should never let that happen to me."

"She was protecting herself," Benjamin told him. "And protecting you, in her own way."

"Yeah, well," Cole snorted, "it didn't work too well, did it?"

"Love hurts," Benjamin sighed, "because love means relinquishing all control. You can't consciously decide whom to fall in love with and you can't consciously force someone to fall in love with you. It happens when it happens and there's nothing you can do about it. But it doesn't make you weak."

"It doesn't seem worth it," Cole quietly commented as he stared out at the city.

Benjamin laughed, "You and Phoebe do make quite the pair." He saw he had Cole's attention and continued, "Haven't you realized yet, she wouldn't be in such pain right now if she didn't love you so much?" He didn't let Cole interrupt and quickly added, "Don't get your hopes up, son. Sometimes love isn't enough. You both may have to accept that and move on."

"Sounds like you're talking more than just about me," Cole guessed.

"Perhaps," Benjamin murmured as he stopped speaking and stared out at the view before him. After a few moments of silence, he told his son, "I was eighteen when I met her and she was --"

"Mother?" Cole interrupted with surprise.

"No," Benjamin smiled, "Someone else. Her name was Louisa Maria de la Vega. She was fifteen and her family had just come up from Mexico. I think my heart stopped the first moment I saw her. But she was more than just beautiful. She was witty and charming and smart. We spent a lot of time together. All proper, of course. We went on outings and picnics. We could sit for hours and talk about anything and everything and sometimes nothing at all. For her sixteenth birthday, I was going to propose marriage."

"What happened?" Cole asked with interest.

"One spring day, about a month before her birthday, she came to me crying," Benjamin recalled. "Her parents had just informed her that they'd arranged with acquaintances from home that she would marry their son who had moved to Los Angeles to start his own ranch. She'd never met the young man, had never even met the parents, and didn't want to go. I offered to marry her right then and there. Suddenly, her tears were all gone and I received the most radiant of smiles. She was in my arms before I'd managed to get off my knee. Unfortunately, we got carried away by our emotions and we" he looked at Cole, "let's just see we lost all track of time and space until her older brother caught us together. I insisted I wanted to marry Louisa but Ricardo was enraged. He was hurting her and she saw I was about to strike him. She begged me not to, that he wouldn't hurt her and that she could manage him. As he dragged her away, I promised that I'd talk to her father. That we'd marry and be together forever."

"Her father refused to listen," Cole guessed.

Benjamin nodded sadly. "They sent her to Los Angeles that very night. As soon as I found out, I left for the city and tried to find her. And I did."

"You weren't in time, were you? They forced her into a quickie marriage so that she wouldn't be free to leave with you," Cole supposed.

"They tried," Benjamin replied in a hoarse voice. "But she"

"Ran away?" Cole asked in an unsure tone.

Benjamin shook his head and stared out at the city. "Louisa couldn't bear the thought of becoming another man's wife," he croaked. He cleared his throat and waited a moment before he continued, "A stranger's wife in a strange city. Away from her family and friends. Away from me. When they left her alone to dress for the wedding, she tookshe took a pair of sewing scissors and cut her wrists. By the time someone came to bring her to the ceremony, my beautiful Louisa was already gone. I had been a week too late. One damn week"

"I'm sorry," Cole sincerely told his father.

"Son, I know first-hand how painful love can be," Benjamin stated as he turned towards Cole. "Like you, like Phoebe, I had thought it wasn't worth it. I came home from Los Angeles and swore I would never fall in love again," he confessed. "I swore I would never again feel that pain and I would never be cause for anyone else to feel that pain. So I had casual dalliances with women. I made it clear from the start I wasn't interested in anything but a good time and I never lacked a delightful companion. The older I got, the easier it became to hide myself beneath a superficial charming layer. I had almost forgotten what it was like to beme. Until"

"Mother," Cole realized.

"The moment I met her, I knew something was different," he admitted. "I hadn't felt that way since Louisa. And I didn't want to. I tried not to. But your motherShe had this way about her and I was drawn to her. I found myself opening to her in a way I never imagined. And I washappy. No one could've been more surprised than me. Everything I worked so hard against having happen had happened. I found myself in love. I couldn't have ended things with her if I'd tried."

"She took care of that," Cole muttered, "didn't she?"

"I told you," Benjamin snapped, "that was an accident."

"Mother doesn'tdidn't miss," Cole retorted.

"Your mother and I argued that night," Benjamin sighed, "about you. About your safety. She realized she'd been finally been tracked down by a demon. Raynor, I believe, and we --"

"What?" Cole gasped. "Raynor? She never saidWhy didn't she tell me?"

"You know of him?" Benjamin asked.

"He became my mentor," Cole explained. "After shedied. He trained me, led me into the Brotherhood. Raynor was the one who held your soul."

"Ah," Benjamin uttered. "I hope you made it painful for him." Cole looked at him with surprise and he clarified, "If not for his interference, we'd have gotten away. We'd have been together. I loved your mother. She hid nothing from me. Nothing."

"But she was" Cole began.

"A demon," Benjamin nodded. "I know and I found a way to accept it. She found ways to suppress her urges. Occasionally, she'd slip butI loved her, Cole, and she loved me. We'd created a world of our own and were happy. We had each other and we had you."

"Until Raynor found her," Cole commented.

"I wanted to pick up and move to another city," Benjamin admitted. "Find somewhere where you'd both be safe."

"Mother didn't run," Cole frowned. "She would've taken her chances with Raynor."

"She insisted we had a better chance on our home ground," Benjamin wistfully recalled. "We came up with a plan to --"

"I know," Cole interrupted, "you told me. But it still backfired and you ended up dead. Raynor took your soul and Mother raised me a demon. So how does this help me? It only proves again that love isn't worth it. Maybe Phoebe was right. Maybe I can't change being a demon. Maybe I'm meant to be evil. Maybe there's nothing anyone can do about it and I should just embrace it. Maybe that's been my problem. Maybe if I finally accept the truth, I'll be --"

Benjamin interrupted as he muttered, "If you aren't the most willful, most stubborn -- you haven't heard a word I've said! You may be older than me and you may think you've seen it all but there are still one or two things about life that I know better than you. And there's one thing I am certain about." He watched Cole to make sure his son was paying attention and he carefully spoke, "Love is worth it. Every happy moment and every single painful moment is worth it. Your mother believed it. Deep down, Phoebe believes it." Benjamin saw Cole shake his head and emphasized, "You have to believe it too."

"Why?" Cole insisted as he raised his arms in frustration. "So I can relish the pain? So my meaningless life will be filled with misery?"

"Because it's love that gives your life meaning," Benjamin declared, "and not just love for one woman. If you're not meant to be with Phoebe then it won't happen. And you'll move on. You'll help people. You'll find beauty in the world and you'll find someone new to love. Someone new to share your thoughts and opinions with. You don't have to be alone in this world unless you choose to be. And why would you want to punish yourself like that? You're a good man, son, you just have to believe in yourself."

"Such a romantic," Cole accused, "making it seem so easy."

"You make it seem like it's a sin," Benjamin sighed again in frustration. "Nothing good in life comes easy. If it does, you'd better be suspicious." He saw the surprise on Cole's face and smiled, "She got that from me too."

"You still love her," Cole suddenly realized.

Benjamin nodded, "Just as you will still love Phoebe no matter what happens. Just as she will still love you." He tugged on Cole's arm, "Come, show me the city. I've only got until tomorrow night and there's so much I wish to see again."

"Tomorrow night?" Cole asked in a quiet tone.

"Twenty-four hours," his father admitted. "But it's enough. It's more than enough. To be here. To spend time with you. It's worth every moment. It'll be worth it even when we have to say good-bye." 

Cole sadly nodded and his father began to lead him inside. But Cole suddenly stopped and, when his father looked at him in question, he impulsively hugged his father tightly.

Benjamin rubbed his son's back in comfort and assured his son, "I love you, Cole. I have from the moment your mother told me you were expected and I will continue to love you. Death cannot stop love. It's more powerful than you can even imagine. Remember that."

Cole nodded and pulled away. He wiped at his eyes and, in a choked voice, said, "Come on, the city awaits."

"Get your act together and move on," Benjamin gently reminded him. Cole slowly nodded and Benjamin wrapped his arm around Cole's shoulder, "So, tell me, in this century, where does one go to get some action?" Cole looked back at his father in shock and Benjamin laughed heartily, "I'm just kidding, son.You should've seen the look on your face."

Cole glared at his father but found himself beginning to smile. Twenty-four hours with his father. His father. He'd make the most of them. Everything else in his life could wait. His father was here. And they were together.

*********** ********** ************

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	3. phoebe

**__**

Phoebe

Paige looked up from her magazine when Phoebe entered the kitchen. "Hey, sweetie, how're you feeling?"

"I think I got more done for my column," Phoebe answered as she poured herself a glass of orange juice, "than I would've if I'd actually gone into work today. Elise's happy with what I e-mailed her so I guess that's all that matters."

"How's your wrist?" Paige inquired.

Phoebe drank from her glass. "Throbs a bit but I'm fine."

Paige frowned, "I still don't understand why you didn't call us last night when it happened or why you won't let me heal your wrist now."

Phoebe stared at the bandage that bound her left wrist, "I told you, it wasn't demon-related and I --"

"But Leo and I have healed dozens of our everyday cuts and bruises," her younger sister interrupted. "It's not personal gain. Not really."

"I'm fine," Phoebe softly warned. She drank some more before she added, "Ava said it was a clean cut and that after she takes out the stitches next week it probably won't leave much of a scar."

"But you don't have to have a scar," Paige suggested.

"Weren't you the one who wanted to keep the scar from your very first war wound'?" Phoebe reminded her sister before she softly considered, "Sometimes it's important to see the scarsso they remind us"

"Is everything okay?" Paige asked with concern. "It's been a pretty rough week for you, do you want to talk about it? I mean, the other day when we had sister-beauty-day, it was great but we didn't really talk."

Phoebe shook her head and finished her drink. She stared at the empty glass she set down and said, "There's nothing to talk about."

Paige stood up and went over to her sister, "I know it hurt you to see Cole like that. It's okay to feel bad. I mean, last year you were to marry the love of your life and now that same guy's gone over the edge and is nuts."

"Paige" Phoebe clenched her fists and did her best to hold back her tears. "I know you mean well, but the last thing I want to do is talk to you or Piper about Cole."

"But we --" Paige interrupted as she touched her sister's arm.

"Paige, please," Phoebe insisted as she stepped back, "I love you both but you don't understand anything about me and Cole. I can't talk to you about it. Not yet anyway."

"Honey," Paige said as she hugged her sister, "you can't keep it all bottled up inside. You've got to talk to someone. If not us then maybe Leo or even your father."

Phoebe patted her sister's back and pulled away. "I talked to someone, don't worry."

"You did?" Paige questioned in surprise. "That's great," she added in slight disappointment.

"I wish you didn't look so sad," Phoebe noted. "I'm not deliberately trying to hurt you or Piper. I just needed to talk to someone who would really understand where I was coming from. Someone who'd been there."

"You found some other witch who married a demon who became the Source of all evil?" Paige asked with a shiver.

Phoebe gave a slight laugh. "Not exactly."

"Well, if it helped you to talk to her," Paige commented as she headed back to her seat, "then that's all I need to hear. Listen, Piper's trying to make up for lost time at the club and said we're on our own for dinner. You in the mood for pizza?"

"Dinner, already?" Phoebe asked as she looked at the clock. "It's late," she murmured, "I didn't realize the time."

"Why?" Paige asked distractedly. "You've got somewhere to be?"

"No," she softly answered as she returned the orange juice to the fridge. The grandfather clock from the other room chimed the hour and Phoebe froze. "Thank you," she whispered wistfully to the ceiling.

"You say something?" Paige asked as she looked up from her magazine.

"No," Phoebe answered. She headed for the doorway and, more to herself than to her sister, she added, "He listened and seemed to understand. It helped more than he'll ever know. I just wish we'd had more time."

"He?" Paige asked with interest as she watched her sister. She hurried after her sister and questioned, "What is it? Who'd you talk to?" She suddenly looked nervous and followed Phoebe into the hallway, "It wasn't Cole was it? Oh, honey, tell me it wasn't Cole." But before Phoebe could answer, the doorbell rang and Paige passed Phoebe to answer it. "We're not done here," she warned her older sister.

Phoebe watched Paige open the door to someone from the local florist. She saw him holding a large bouquet of mixed long-stem roses. "Those're beautiful."

Paige turned to her sister as she read the accompanying card's envelope, "Glad you think so, sis, they're for you."

Surprised, Phoebe went to the door and gave a polite smile to the delivery guy. "A little late for making deliveries."

He handed her the bouquet and smiled, "My last ones for the nightMs. Halliwell, II just want you to know, I read your column every day."

"Thank you," Phoebe smiled as she sniffed the roses, "that's very sweet of you to say." She opened the envelope and scanned the card: _We have no words for our gratitude ~ The Turner Men_ Phoebe smiled and sniffed the flowers again.

Paige noticed her sister's smile. "Well, don't keep me in suspense. Who sent the flowers? Some secret admirer?"

Phoebe shook her head, "No, just a thank you from afather and son I tried to help. I think I did. Ihope I did."

"Oh, I'm sure you did," the delivery guy told her. "You help a lot of people. Every day. Me included."

"You?" she asked in surprise.

He nodded, "Yeah, my wife and Iwell, we've had a bit of a rough time lately."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Phoebe told him.

He quickly continued, "But you gave some advice to someone else bout how we should give each other some spacey'know, spend some time apart and figure things outbefore it got so bad that we'd have nothing left"

"Did it help?" she automatically asked. "Sorry," she quickly apologized, "none of my business."

"Yeah it is, in a way," he shook his head politely. "Yeah, it's helped. We didn't separate or nothin' but we kept more to ourselves a bit. Didn't bite each other's heads off. Took time to get our thoughts straight. Then one night we just started talkin'. Really talkin', bout our kids, our doubts, concerns. It's not back to what we were before but we're getting' there. We're workin' real hard at it. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Phoebe softly told him even as her thoughts were filling of a different couple in need of the same advice. "Oh," she suddenly realized, "wait just a second." She shoved her flowers at Paige and reached for her purse on the side table. She stared at the card in her hand as she pulled out her wallet.

"Oh, that's okay," he interrupted. She stared back at him and he smiled, "You've done so much for me and my wife. Really, that's not necessary." He tipped his hat towards her and Paige, "Have a good night."

"You too," she said as he turned away. She closed the door and put back her wallet. Then she took her flowers back from Paige. She inhaled their sweet scent again and sighed. "Better get these in water." She suddenly noticed Paige's look and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Did this father/son thing have anything to do with your accident last night?" Paige asked.

"What? Why would you think that?" Phoebe quickly asked as she walked past Paige.

"You've seemed off all week, got turned into a mummy the other day, went to bed early last night," Paige considered, "told us about that kitchen accident with the knife, and suddenly you're getting flowers?"

"You and Prue with your suspicions," Phoebe muttered. "It's a nice gesture. Nothing evil behind it."

Paige looked at her sister in surprise, "I didn't say anything about it being evil. Phoebe, what's going on?"

The doorbell rang again and Phoebe quickly turned to answer the door. "I'll get it." She placed the bouquet down on the table and opened the door to a sheepish looking florist delivery guy. She smiled, "Change your mind about the tip?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Went back to my truck and discovered that my last delivery is here."

"Here?" Paige asked as she joined Phoebe at the door.

"Actually," he clarified as he held out two bouquets, "I've got two bunches for you, Ms. Halliwell."

Phoebe accepted a bouquet of short-stemmed white roses. "They're beautiful," she murmured as she reached for the attached envelope. She lay the bouquet on the table, next to the previous one, opened the envelope, and read the words on the card: _Pure, sweet, fragile but with an inner strength - just as you areDon't be afraid of your thorns, daughter. I'm here for you whenever you need me to be, all you have to do is call ~ Benjamin_

"You okay?" Paige asked in concern as she watched her sister's stunned reaction from behind.

"Yeah," Phoebe quickly answered as she slipped both cards into her pocket, "I'm fine." She wiped her eyes and pulled herself together before she turned back to them. "You said something about a second bunch."

"Yeah," he said as he handed her the second bunch, "here ya go."

Phoebe took the bouquet of wildflowers and indicated her purse to Paige, "Would you mind?"

Paige retrieved some money from Phoebe's purse and handed a few bills to the guy. "Here you go."

The guy smiled back at them both, "Thanks. Have a good night."

"Good night," Phoebe answered distractedly as she stared at the flowers. She inhaled their fragrance and squeezed her eyes shut to keep back the tears. She knew who sent them but, for some crazy reason, was afraid to read his card.

Paige closed the door and watched her sister stare at the bouquet. "Guess they're pretty grateful, huh."

"Huh?" Phoebe turned in surprise.

"That father and son you helped," Paige answered. "A bit excessive but, you're right, sweet gesture."

"Yeah," Phoebe agreed distractedly as she fumbled with the envelope, "sweet." She put down the bouquet on top of the mixed roses. Suddenly, she reached into the bouquet of white roses and carefully pulled out a single stem. "Paige, would you do me a favor and put all these in vases for me?" She headed for the door and grabbed her purse and car keys.

"No but, hey," Paige watched her sister, "where're you going? What about dinner?"

"I'll eat later," Phoebe apologized. "I justthere's somewhere I have to be."

"Hey, are you okay?" Paige asked with concern but Phoebe was already out the door. "Where's your coat?"

Phoebe's heart was pounding and she looked at the envelope in her hand. She ignored the evening chill, took a deep breath, and opened it. She held the card up to the porch light and read his words: _After all I've done, thank you doesn't quite seem enough for all you've done. I hope I can somehow return the favor by finally giving you what you want - time and space. Maybe one dayNever forget, I'll love you always, Cole_

Phoebe choked back a sob, clenched the rose and card in her hand, and raced down the front steps to her car. 

*********** ********** ************


	4. phoebe and cole

**_Phoebe and Cole_**

The flashlight shook in her hand as Phoebe descended the staircase. She made her way into the chamber and still clenched the rose in her hand. She lay it on her father-in-law's resting place and let out a sob. "I'm sorry," she croaked as she unconsciously pressed the stem beneath her palm into the concrete, "sorry it wasn't enough. Sorry I couldn't give you more time."

"It was more than enough," Cole quietly informed her.

Phoebe gasped and spun around, into Cole. "I'm, I'm sorry," she stammered, "I shouldn't, shouldn't be here."

"It's okay," he told her as he held her upper arms to support her.

"I, I didn't know you were here," she quickly apologized as she tried to move past him.

He looked past her, at the flower, and was surprised to see some spots next to it. "You're hurt," he realized as he dropped his hands to his sides.

Phoebe automatically looked down at her left wrist and quietly said, "No, it's fine." She looked back up at him and added, "Look, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't've disturbed you. I'm sorry," she tearfully said as she finally pushed past him.

"Wait," Cole requested as he reached out and managed to grab her right hand. She froze and he added, "Please."

Phoebe shook her head, "Cole, this isn't --"

"You're bleeding," he interrupted. He gently tugged on her hand and saw her surprise when he showed her some puncture wounds. "Didn't you feel the thorns?" He asked as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket.

"No," she whispered as he gently wrapped her hand, "please..." She tried to stop him but, when she placed her left hand on his hands, she saw his eyes notice her bandaged wrist. She pulled her hand away and told him, "It's nothing. An accident in the kitchen."

He met her gaze and shook his head. "That's how you got the twenty-four hours," he somberly commented.

"A simple spell wouldn't have been enough," she whispered in acknowledgement. "It needed moreI'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked as he reached for her left hand. "You have nothing to apologized for," he told her when she didn't pull it away. "You gave me the most precious gift. Time with my father. I don't know how I can ever thank you." He gently brought her wrist to his lips and kissed it lightly. He looked back at her and wiped away some of her tears. "Phoebe, I need to knowwhy? Why did you do something like that for me? After the last few weeks, after the other day, why would you care enough to do something so generous like that?"

"I never said I stopped caring," Phoebe barely whispered. She tugged her hand. He released it and she took a step back. She cleared her throat and told him, "These last couple of weeks you've acted soI was afraid. I didn't know what else to do."

Cole turned away in embarrassment, "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to show you that -- things got out of hand. I couldn't control it."

"You need help, Cole," Phoebe calmly told him. She walked around him to face him. "I can't help you. I can't give you what you want and you won't listen to what I want. I wasn't sure you would listen to anyone. Except maybe your father."

They stared at one another for a few moments before Phoebe turned to leave. Cole watched as she walked away and he suddenly called out, "He wasn't what I expected, you know."

Surprised, Phoebe turned back around and nervously asked, "What do you mean?" She began walking back to him. "Didn't it go all right? The flowers"

Cole smiled as he met her mid-way, "Were our way of saying thank you. No, what I meant was that he didn't fit the image I'd created in my head. I imagined this pious upstanding statesman who did no wrong except get mixed up with demons and I found out that he's a real man."

"I, uh, know what you mean," Phoebe commented as she recalled the time she first got to know her father when he returned into her life.

"I guess you do," Cole realized. "My father," he laughed, "appreciates a good-looking woman, a good cigar, and a good dirty joke."

"Benjamin?" Phoebe asked in shock.

Cole laughed again and placed his hands on Phoebe's shoulders, "Don't you see, honey, you gave me my father, not some illusion." His expression suddenly changed and he realized, "You're shivering." He looked her over and asked, "Where's your coat?" He didn't wait for an answer and quickly took off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders. When she didn't reject his gesture, he continued in a quiet tone, "You gave me time to talk to him. To laugh with him. To argue with him. Hell, to be lectured by him. I've learned that, in spite of his success, he made mistakes in his life. He's felt the deepest love, the deepest pain. He loved my mother, he loved her, Phoebe, still does, too. He's human and he's taught me that it's nothing to be ashamed of."

She hesitantly touched his cheek, "Cole, I --" 

He shook his head and interrupted, "He's made me look at everything that's happened in my life. Walked with me through the path that led me here. He still loves me in spite of it all. Hell, he even said he was proud of me. I'm not proud of it all, Phoebe, but he's allowed me to acknowledge what I can be proud of."

"There's so much you should be proud of," Phoebe agreed as she secured his jacket around her. "And I don't just mean when you were helping me or my sisters. Just think about how you moved up the ranks in the Underworld."

Surprised, Cole started, "I don't think that's --"

"I don't mean the evil you actually did," she interrupted with a shake of her head. "I mean that you proved you could overcome your mixed heritage, you worked hard, developed your talents. You were good at what you did. No, the best. Belthazor's reputation wasn't something to be laughed at. People thought so highly of you. I never meant to belittle what you accomplished. I just wanted --"

"Me to be good," Cole finished. "I tried. I'm trying."

"I know," she nodded, "and I'm sorry I can't seem to recognize it more like I should."

"It's okay," he quietly said.

"No," she responded, "it's not okay. I'm hurt and I'm angry and I don't want to take it out on you. I wish I could just twitch my nose and make it all go away. Make it like it used to be for us. But I can't. You were part of it, Cole. Yeah, the Source forced you to do some horrible things but you were part of it. And I haven't found a way to forgive you yet. I lost so much by trusting you. I'm not ready to trust you again. I've told you that."

"We've both lost," he hoarsely agreed, "so much."

Phoebe searched his eyes for a moment before she whispered, "I think about him. I don't want to. I don't want to remember but there are times when I look at Piper and I think about him." The tears began flowing from her eyes and she brought her hand to her mouth, "I don't want to remember anymore. God, it hurts too much."

Cole reached out and pulled her into his arms. As she sobbed, he quietly admitted, "I know how bad it hurts. And I know how painful it is to remember. And I know what it's like to hate me for what I did to him."

"Maybe," she sniffled in his chest, "maybe if I hadn't've pushed you so hard, you wouldn't've been forced to"

"Shhh," he told her as he stroked her hair and tried to calm her, "no more what ifs. No more looking back. No more hiding. No more running. My father made me realize that today as we walked along the Wharf and watched the sunrise."

"What do you mean?" Phoebe asked in a muffled voice.

He gently pushed her back to look in her eyes. He tucked some stray strands of her hair behind her ear and told her, "He reminded me that it's not in my nature to act as impulsively as I've been doing. I've lacked direction for quite some time now and acted on my emotions without dealing with the reality of my situation. My plans were irrational. I hadn't thought anything through before I acted and that's not me. Not how I was trained. You're right. I do need time to think about what's happened and to figure out where I want to go from here. So I've decided to stick around for a while. Clean up my act, get my head together, and move forward."

"Sounds like a good plan," she advised with a sniffle.

"Lesson from my parents," he commented with a half-smile. "It means I'll be sticking around the city," he warned, "and I may run into you or your sisters from time to time."

"I'll try not to take it personally," she quietly teased as she wiped her eyes.

He smiled and stared at her for a moment. He reached out to caress her cheek, "Thank you for giving me another chance."

"Please don't blow it," she quietly warned, "and don't make me regret it." He nodded seriously and she added, "Thank you for giving me time."

"It's not just for you," he honestly told her. "It's for me, tooand, maybe, just maybe, it's for us."

Phoebe reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before she let go. Silently, she took off his jacket and returned it to him. "See you around," she softly said.

"I hope so," he automatically responded. He gave her a sheepish smile, "Sorry, old habits"

But she chuckled good-naturedly. She stared at him a moment and admitted, "My feelings may not change. I need you to know that. Understand that. Time may not change anything for us."

"I know," he nodded. "But, then again, time may be exactly what we need to find a new way back to each other."

Phoebe gazed into his eyes and, for the first time, allowed herself to acknowledge what she saw reflected back at her. "Hope," she whispered.

"Hope," he echoed before he faded from before her.

She stared at the empty space and sighed. She made her way up the stairs and suddenly realized that the heavy weight she'd been carrying for so long was gone. She stood outside in the crisp, cool air and stared at the doorway to the mausoleum. Her problems hadn't suddenly vanished. She knew she still needed to sort things out but, for the first time in ages, she no longer felt that intense pain and pressure. For the first time, she felt ready to face her future. Embrace her future. "Thank you," she whispered to the sky.

"You'll catch pneumonia if you keep standing there," Cole told her.

Phoebe jumped at his voice. "What're you doing here?" she snapped as she strode past him.

"Keeping an eye on you," he told her as he quickly caught up to her. "Not exactly the safest place for a an attractive woman to be alone at night."

"I can take care of myself," she said as she stepped up her pace.

"Oh, I know, sweetie," he replied with a grin, "I trained with you, remember?"

"Is this your idea of space?" she snapped in annoyance as she made her way through the cemetery towards her car.

"I won't stop trying to protect you," he informed her as she rushed the last few yards to her car. "I'll keep my distance but if I feel you're in danger"

Phoebe growled in annoyance as she opened the door and slid into the driver's seat. "Cole," she snapped as she twisted the ignition key and brought the car to life. He peered at her through her window and she ordered, "Don't call me sweetie!" She jammed on the gas pedal and sped away.

Cole grinned as he watched her car turn the corner. "She's crazy bout me," he smiled with a shake of his head as he faded from the cemetery.

"He drives me crazy!" Phoebe shouted to no one in particular as she turned the corner. "He's crazy," she muttered. "I'm crazy," she quickly realized. "I'm crazy about him," she told herself in a calmer voice. She concentrated on the road before her and softly said, "Maybe we will find that way." Suddenly she shouted, "Paige! Paige!"

"What?" Paige's disembodied voice asked as she orbed into the passenger seat. "What's wrong?"

Phoebe grinned, "You still want that pizza? I am starving."

"You give me a heart attack," Paige complained, "because you want some food? What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong," Phoebe quickly said with a smile. "Just thought you might still be hungry. Unless you ate on your own."

"No," Paige answered in a suspicious tone. "Okay, what happened to my moping depressed sister that left the house about an hour ago?"

"She's feeling much better," Phoebe grinned. "Come on, I want to celebrate."

"What are we celebrating?" Paige asked warily.

"The future," Phoebe declared. "A bright, wonderful, happy future."

"All right," Paige stated, "now I know you're a demon. What have you done with Phoebe?"

Phoebe laughed. "I helped some people today, Paige," she explained. "I still have issues of my own to deal with but, for a little while, can't I just be happy about that?"

Paige's expression softened and she patted her sister's arm, "Of course you can. Soto the future it is."

"And all the hope it may bring," Phoebe softly added as she turned on the radio.

__

the end


End file.
